his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
