well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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