if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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