Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
