So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
