man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday