I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.