I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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