it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been