You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
