There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
