FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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