My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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