Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
