Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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