Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
