So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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