I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
