I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Dicks are not precious.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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