how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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