You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
