You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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