I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
