I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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