I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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