but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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