I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
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