So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
