i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize