NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
