never play flip cup with pint glasses
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
