so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize