All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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