I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize