I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
