Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's shark week go big or go home
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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