My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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