but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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