my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
