just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
