Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
