I'm drive I can fine osifer
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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