I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
