How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
