what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
