yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
