They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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