I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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