He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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