i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize