life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize