Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
They took my balls.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize