there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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