I am in a vortex of obligation.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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