And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
