too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize