so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
