i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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