can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
