I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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