Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
