I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
