Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
