So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you inspire me to be a worse person
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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